Lingo Leela's Loveology Lessons

Here's how the experts do it :)
(All sources, that I could find, have been attributed. The bad ones are mine but you knew that anyway. Didn't you?)
1. Evoluvtionists:

(link: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/fj0n9/darwinian_valentine/)

2. The Che"misty" eyed
She loves me. Loves me not. She's my ambivalentine.
(Inspired by @diogeneb on twitter)

3. Love! It's a tesse(ns)llation
Your love fills my heart better than the Penrose Tiling (aperiodic, far fewer number of tiles but probably more expensive :P )

4. Novelists seeking to publish wish each other a Happy Ballantyne's day

5. The Medi-scene men (when they're not named after buildings or are actually pleasant to chat with )
You make my zygomatic muscles contract.
source: http://i.imgur.com/8CKRd.jpg

6. Grad students
To me you're like.... Um... Hey! Is that free food?

If wishes were horses…

‘t was the year 1203 AD. Ye Olde Britain was under the rule of King John. Robin Hood had no clue he would be the hero of countless ballads and multiple motion pictures. If only he knew how he could woo women, like in those movies…

It was a time when the typical conversation had been one where the men discussed the day’s weather and the more loquacious free thinking types debated the English climate and if it was getting any hotter in Spofforth. Spofforth was a peaceful town. Not the kind of idyllic towns that the movies about idyllic towns are set in, no!. No self-respecting story would ever be set in Spofforth. Oh! wait.

When Amit Kumar, the time- traveling salesman, landed in Spofforth he is said to have exclaimed “Abeyaar, this is like that Shire only naa. From that Lord of the Rings movie”. But nobody understood him because it was Ye Olde Britain, you see. Amit had not intended to leave the twentieth century for the 12th but there’s only so many Amits that a mid-size Universe can accommodate before the space-time continuum gives way.

A month before Amit Kumar had traveled to Spofforth, it was when he had finished watching the LotR movies, in 12th century Spofforth any happenstance historians would have recorded the following conversation.

Farmer 1 (F1): Say, hasn’t the weather been wandering all over the place; rain, sun and snow in the same week.

F2: Yeah, it’s gotten boaring, if you know what I mean?

F1 (sigh, at the joke): If wishes were horses…

Anaphylaxis, a passing angel with a propensity to rashly grant wishes, heard this and smiled.

So it was that when Amit Kumar landed in Spofforth, the townsfolk were always wondering as to why there had been so many horses in the countryside, of late.

Amit saw a bunch of Black horses galloping across a field and thought to himself: “Abeyyy, sahi hai. Yeh to same to same LOTR hi hai. Wish I had brought Mala with me”.

Just then a horse materialized out of nowhere and started stomping towards Amit, who thought was already thinking about what his Tam-bram manager, whom he had nicknamed Saar-uman,  might say when he found that Amit had reached the office late. “ What saaar, coming to office oll-ways late?”. He wished his leave for a week had been approved. “Saaar, if wishes were aaarses…”, Saaruman had said. Amit wondered what he had meant.

In all this while, Amit observed, about half a dozen horses had materialized out of nowhere. “Oh shiiiiiit!”, he realised what Saaruman had meant and frantically wished that wishes were not horses.

A prancing pony appeared where his head had been a few moments ago, had he not dived sideways. “Abbaeyyyaaaar”, he said.

Credits:

The Idea: http://chroniclesofdementia.blogspot.com/2010/09/when-beatles-met-amits.html

Kis ne bana di movie???

Warning:  This movie is not for a teacher who asked us to make micro-controllers instead of using them, PK and Akshaye Kumar. The same applies to YOU, the reader, (pssst!!! don't turn around and look back!!!)  and read further only if you really need an explanation.

The actual storyline of the movie is actually very simple. Ask a good looking girl to choose between a guy she thinks is hot n cutesie (?? well, perspective; my perspective of her perspective) and an absolute crasshole(creep+asshole) who gives Count Dracula the shivers of coldness; the good-looking-girl, let's call her PIT (pretty indian thing), will always choose the creep but she shall do so just before the end of the movie. Now add to it some, well let me put it this way,  seasoned storyline and a sidekick who acts slightly better than the hero and you have "Rab ne bana di jodi".

Apart from that, the movie is full of so much trivia that a lesser soul than yours humbly wouldn't have understood, contemplated and written this blog..

1. Action sequences: In one of the crescendo-breaking moments of the movie Shaaa....-ruk does what no actor ever dared to before on Indian Cinema.  *Akshaye Kumar please don't read this part* He not only poses to be riding a bike in one of the earlier scenes but also pillions the PIT in a path-breaking action chase.

While everybody was busy looking at the PIT's pit as she swerves the bike around, i was not only able to hear the background music, a la Thomas cheta, but was also able to decode this easter-egg correctly.. It is obviously a dekko to Dhoom-3 rumored to star Shaaa...-ruk !!

*Akshaye Kumar you can read from this part on*

2. While everybody is under the impression that Shaaa...ruk has acted the role of Surinder Sahni to planck-length perfection and described it as the only saving grace of the film, it is not true. The actual funda is that the make-up artists tried really hard to stick the moustache on Shaaaa...'s face (even used Gorilla glue) but  the bloody thing wouldn't stay. So they had to use a grey-colored plastic mannequin with a moustache attached to shoot teh scenes with Surinder Sahni. 

I wouldn't have noticed it if not for the gaffe in the scene where Shaaaa... is seen talking to Surinder in Bobby's saloon...

Makes perfect sense!!!  Reasons: a. Shaaaa can never have a moustache, b. SS talks in barely audible whispers that are easily synthed digitally and c. Shaaaaa can never even have a fake moustache.

3.  Shiamak Davar is Govinda's pseudonym, proof  . Check out the dresses and the pelvic grooves. Also, Raj calling Taani "Partner" was an obvious giveaway.

4.  The movie is a competitor to Aamir's Ghajini releasing on the same date and borrows heavily from the movie. Also, this movie, like TZP, is based on the learning problems of people. It portrays the circs of Taani who is autistic. This savant cannot differentiate between a moustached mannequin and Raj; but she can recollect and correctly connect the similarities of the way they ate a paani-puri from paranthe-waali gali and home-made biriyani. I think she would have made a great quizzer.

Be that as it may all be, the movie did still leave a few open-ended, unanswered questions:

1. Who is the guy seen bathing beneath the tap in SS's house? (this occurs twice in the movie)

2. Who is the drummer in the movie "KHKN"?

3. Which is the Qn. that Udupa's shaaa can't answer? and why?

I think the last 3 qns would make a nice Supertheme...